Friday, 31st December 2010, New Year's Eve in Madeira

This photo was taken the last time we were in Madeira for a festive cruise, but I'm sure things won't have changed much in the last two years:-

We both took sleeping pills last night as the ship was rocking and rolling a bit, so woke after 9am this morning to find ourselves at anchor in the bay of Madeira.  We're due to tie up for a few hours this afternoon, but will be leaving mid-evening to watch the fireworks from out in the bay.  So all the pre-cruise agonising about which cabin to choose for the best view was in vain - along with everyone else onboard, we take pot-luck!  Still, the sun is shining and it's hot, hot, hot...

Janet

XX

Thursday, 30th December 2010, Santa Cruz de la Palma

8a.m. arrival in port, with sun rising behind Mount Teide on Tenerife in the distance.  I watched from the balcony as Black Watch also appeared on the horizon and sailed across the sunrise.  Balmoral is also in port today, so lots of Brits in town.

We were here in Sata Cruz last October and that time turned left out of the port gates to visit the black sandy beach.  This time we decided to turn right.

The main street was very crowded so we soon made a detour uphill and came across areas we'd not seen before.  We came across a tiny old convent building, just two rooms, one of which was a chapel.  A local man, possibly the caretaker or warden, greeted us and proudly told us all about the exhibits.  One was a holy relic in a glass case - allegedly a fragment of the cross.  A splinter.  Anyway, it was good to have our own private guided tour and I hope we made the right noises in the right places, even though we didn't necessarily appreciate the religious significance of many of the items.

Sailed away at 2pm on our way to Madeira, which will be our final port of call.

xx
Janet

Wednesday, 29th December 2010, Santa Cruz Tenerife

We've been here a few times before, and never much cared for the place, so left the ship this morning intending to merely have a walk in the sunshine.  We started off in the town centre, together with lots of other tourists from the 3 ships which are here today - Boudicca, Balmoral and P&O's Artemis.  Wandering off the beaten track we found lots of things to interest us - a pedestrianised old street now mainly housing bars and cafes, a 16th century church with an amazing interior, and the highlight of our long walk was the modern theatre beside the sea, built in concrete in a Sydney Opera House sort of style.

Tropical Night and the usual mixture of Hawaiian shirts, bright coloured dresses and floral leis prevailed, but two women had taken the dress code very seriously and wore grass skirts over their swimming costumes!  The tropical themed show was followed by a late night deck party as we sailed away from Tenerife.  A barbecue was available, but no, we didn't eat a thing.  You may not believe this, but... I AM FULL.

xxJanet

Our Cabin

We've got a lovely cabin on Deck 9 next to the really posh people.  It's quite big with a couch and two armchairs in the sitting area.  It has an enormous bed with space underneath for a whole family of illegal immigrants.  The bed is surrounded by large mirrors, which, like the bathroom windows on the Braemar, indicates continuing confusion at Fred Olsen about the habits of their over-60s market sector.  As usual the furniture on the balcony is barking.  I'm now convinced that Fred Olsen's balcony furniture procurement must be done by one person who's as mad as a bag of ferrets.  This time, we have two small chairs and a tiny table on quite a large balcony.  The chairs are based on the design of an Olde English ducking stool in which comfort, as a design parameter, came a long way behind the ability to withstand a good soaking. 

My only other complaint is about the energy saving lighting.  A few years ago I suspect that at a Philips Lighting board meeting the M.D. said "We've spent millions on developing compact fluorescent fittings and they're still crap.  Start manufacture,  stress the energy saving aspects and we'll try to persuade the EEC to make them compulsory."  Compact fluorescents are the ony source of lighting in our bathroom.  You can't see a thing when you go in and then the fittings slowly brighten to reveal if it's a hit or a miss.

We've also had a spot of bother with the toilet.  The first time I used it my sixth sense for building defects told me that the flushing mechanism wasn't sucking like it should.  Normally the suction in ships' vacuum systems is viscious and, to stop you losing any bits you are fond of, the flush button is hidden behind the toilet lid.  Occasionally very large ladies are unlucky enough to bend the lid backwards and cause an accidental flush.  You will know this has happened when you hear the medical emergency 'Alpha Code' over the public address system and see the ship's doctor running down the corridor with a tyre lever and a can of WD40.

Anyway, our's stopped sucking, a man came, it worked then it stopped working again, and so on.  Playing Russian Roulette with a toilet is not as dangerous as using a revolver, but it can take the edge off a romantic evening.  Eventually, I went to Reception to explain to the nice young girl that we were both going to have a more enjoyable cruise when our toilet was fixed.  That's how the Malaysian maintenance man came to be in our cabin at 11:30pm when he should have been watching football in the crew's quarters.  He told me that he could not fit a new flucking varve at this time of night.  Because of my technical knowledge I realised that he was probably referring to the 'flushing valves' that are used on drainage intallations that don't have local water cisterns.  He opted for a quick fix which involved sticking what appeared to be the pool vacuum cleaner down the toilet and sucking for five minutes.  It all turned out OK because the next morning the varve was changed and I hadn't wanted to go swimming anyway.

Dave
xx

Tuesday, 28th December 2010, La Gomera

San Sebastian de La Gomera

We've never been to this island before and were pleasantly surprised.  Had a walk down the promenade, admired the flowers and palm trees, black sandy beaches, rocky cliffs and craggy GREEN hills.  In the town we found the oldest building, a tower dating back to 1447, a house where Columbus stayed before crossing the Atlantic, and a beautiful old church. We took lots of photos of the streets lined with pastel coloured houses, which I'm hoping may be useful when I get to the 'perspective' units on my painting course back home.

We were back onboard in time for lunch, which today we took in the main dining room on a table for two overlooking the bright blue sea.  Just to make the view perfect, the clouds over neighbouring Tenerife lifted for a while, and we could see the snow at the top of Mount Teide.  Just like home, eh?

xx
Janet

Monday, 27th December 2010, Las Palmas Gran Canaria

We've had a full day here - arrival at 8am and departing 11pm, so lots of time in which to explore.

The sun was shining and temperatures had reached 18*C by the time the Captain made his daily announcement at 9am, so we decided to walk to the beautiful (for this part of the world) long beach not far from the port.  We've walked there previously, it's a great place for people-watching. (Remember the Speedos?)  This time we walked the entire length of the bay, aiming to reach what we thought was a large church.  At the farthest end of the beach the waves roll in, and there are several surf schools.  We stood and watched one class for ages before continuing our stroll and reaching the 'church' which was in fact a modern concert hall.  Very interesting - took lots of photos.  We must have walked about 5 miles during the morning and the temperature displayed along the sea-front rose to 27*.  Is it still freezing at home we wondered?

Back to the ship for lunch and liquid refreshment, then out again to take the red Hop On Hop Off bus for the tour round Las Palmas.  It's a much larger place than we imagined and the old town loks really picturesque - we'll explore that next time we're here.  In fact, Lord C. wondered, out loud, if we shouldn;t try to get a week's holiday here in February!

Dave left me at the quayside when we finished the bus tour, so that I could have a quick wander round the shopping mall close by.  On the way back I spotted someone I thought I recognised - spoke to her, and yes, it was Susan who we'd met last year onboard Balmoral.  (Greetings to Di and Jim, if you're reading this.)

After dinner Dave and I went off the ship again for a drink in a bar not far from the port.  We sat outside watching mainly local men playing cards and chess, and watching Arsenal v Chelsea on tv! 

So back to the ship and an early night for once - well, after a hot chocolate of course!

xx
Janet

Sunday, 26th December 2010, Lanzarote

Lanzarote - and for once we're delighted to be here.

Two other Fred Olsen ships, the  Black Watch and the Balmoral, are in port as well as Cunard's Queen Victoria.  And a rare opportunity was on offer - the chance to visit one of Fred's sister ships for a guided tour.  We decided to go and have a look at Balmoral to refresh our memories of what we liked about her.  When you've cruised on a few different ships you forget which one had what!  Balmoral is the largest Fred ship, carrying about 1300 passengers, and is slightly more glitzy than the others.  We decided we would definitely like to cruise on her again (Please note this Julie!)

It's sunny today and quite warm, lots of people have suddenly switched to wearing shorts and sandals.  Dave had a couple of hours sunbathing on the balcony.

We seem to be developing an evening routine.  Early dinner, then back to the cabin to watch a dvd and eat chocolate, then out at about 10pm to sample any entertainment on offer.  Tonight was a comedian, Peter Antony, so we settled into a large comfy sofa at the back of the Neptune lounge and waited to be amused.  Sadly not -he was another relic from 'The Comedians' era, and his act was old fashioned, unfunny and borderline racist.

We sailed away from Arrecife about 11pm and once out at sea, with the lights of the island twinkling in the distance, went out on deck to watch a few members of the crew do a short cabaret beside the swimming pool at the back of the ship.  The Boudicca Orchestra accompanied them, as passengers watched from the bars and tiered decks overlooking the pool.  Quite a magical experience, enjoyed by everyone.

What a great day this has been - apart from the toilet breaking down intermittently!

Christmas at Sea

I've had a fairly strict brief from my editor for this trip. No photoshopped pictures of whales, particularly balancing beach balls, definitely no paddling giraffes and blogs must be based on events that actually happened whilst I'm awake.  Oh well, here goes...

Life on a cruise ship is always slightly surreal, but Christmas Day felt seriously odd.  After opening our presents from Mother Christmas we watched the senior staff reindeer racing.  You have to be impressed at any captain who can still look authoratitive in a pair of christmas antlers.  Reindeer steaks are often on the Fred Olsen menus but they have been noticeably absent in the run up to Christmas Day.  There are not many children onboard, but I suppose eating reindeer on Christmas Eve could guarantee years of counselling for the under-10s.  It will be interesting to see how soon it reappears on the menu.  That will tell us a lot about the chef's sense of irony.

After the reindeer racing, I sat on the balcony for the rest of the morning.  The Boudicca was chopping up and down in moderate seas with little white horses and the view was beautiful.  A large patch of the sea shimmered in the sunlight.  I could feel a fine mist which turned out to be tiny particles of salt which, at the height of the ninth floor, were crystallising out of the sea spray.  On my dark fleece it looked like a case of terminal dandruff.

We walked a mile on the promenade deck which, becaude the Boudicca is so small, is 5 laps.  That's quite good because you don't have far to go on the cold and windy side before you're back on the sunny one.  Unfortunately you have to run a gauntlet of smokers on the rear deck.  This is the only public place where smoking is allowed and they're hanging on grimly to their last outpost of empire.  They glare malevolently as you pass.  Making them share their citadel with people who are trying to stay fit is the final insult.

Turker Dinner and then the Christmas show.  The singers and dancers were young, enthusiastic, and hit all the right notes.  Afterwards, we stayed to watch and name the gigolos or 'Dance Hosts' as Fred Olsen calls them.  On a Christmas cruise we had to choose Prancer, Dancer, Donna and Blitzen.  Prancer certainly knew how to sweep a lady off her feet, particularly if she was old and frail.  Dancer clearly had previous experience but he was no match for the large lady in the red dress with the low centre of gravity.  Together they could only achieve something akin to Sumo wrestling.  Donna was one of the female dance hosts that Fred Olsen is now employing to increase the range of available services.  We called the final man Blitzen because Santa didn't have a reindeer called Norman.  He looked suspiciously average and so immediately won our regular award for the gigolo 'most likely to keep his murdered wife in a freezer at home'.

We had a romantic nightcap in the Observatory and then it was back to the cabin for some good old fashioned entertainment.  Janet has brought a complete set of Downton Abbey dvds with us, and so we watched another episode.

Dave C.
XX

Christmas Day - evening

Traditional Christmas dinner was served in the evening.  We were joined by the Assistant Cruise Director, Simon, an enthusiastic young man who kept the wine flowing and even bought after-dinner drinks for the table.  We were each presented with a commemorative china plate - a collectors' item?  Ebay?  Probably not!

The show tonight was a Christmas special, with all the old favourite seasonal offerings.  Cruise Director Stein read 'T'was The Night Before Christmas' in his thick Norwegian accent, and Simon (ACD) gave an excellent reading of Benjamin Zephaniah's 'Turkey' poem.  The singers' and dancers' costumes were brilliant and we thoroughly enjoyed the performance.

We lingered in the lounge for a while after the show finished, watching the ballroom dancing which followed the performance.  As usual, there are gigolos onboard, but Dave may blog later about them, so I won't elaborate, except to say that we have named them!

xx
Janet

Christmas Day at Sea!

HAPPY CHRISTMAS!

Sea still a little choppy, but the sun is shining and it's warm enough to sit on the balcony (wearing fleece!)

We're now at sea, on a level with the southern-most tip of Portugal.

Had breakfast in the cabin, and opened the few presents that Santa had left.  Then went to watch some of the senior managment team, including the Captain, don antlers and take part in the reindeer racing game.  Great fun, and we got more mulled wine forced on us, plus mince pies and chocolates.

So lunch in a while, and then another formal evening tonight, preceded by Santa's Cocktail Party - yes, he's arrived onboard ship and is apparently happy to stay with us all day!

Hope you are all having as much fun as we are.  Merry Christmas everyone!

xx
Janet

Friday, 24th December 2010, Leixoes Portugal

(Note for Julie - It's pronounced something like Layshosh.)

We took the Oporto City Tour this morning which was really excellent, giving us an overview of the city as well as stopping at the Cathedral and Stock Exchange, and also Graham's Port Lodge for the tour of the cellars.  Oporto's at the mouth of the River Douro, and, like Lisbon, experiences thick fog in the winter months.  So our first stop at the Cathedral was shrouded in mist, and the allegedly wonderful views remained invisible!  As the morning wore on the fog lifted, and we could see the river winding its way past traditional old buildings tunbling down the hillside - very pretty.  Many of the buildings really are tumbling down, rents are fixed at such low rates that landlords don;t get enough income to do repairs.  Our tour guide said that the problem was acknowledged but no-one had yet found a solution.  To restore the traditional tile-fronted buildings is very expensive, but those that have been renoavted are stunning.

It's very sunny at the moment, but still very cold.  We're hoping that the next two days will see temperatures soar!

After dinner tonight we went back to the cabin again and watched more Downton Abbey (yes, Carole, we love it!), and went out again at 10pm for a drink in the Observatory. Two of our table companions, Rob and Joan, were in there, so we sat and chatted to them for an hour, then all went to the Neptune Lounge to join the Christmas Carol concert.  The lounge was absolutely packed, as was the stage, where members of crew from all departments led the sing-along.  It was fabulous.  The carol concert was followed by Midnight Mass, but we left before this started and went to the Secret Garden cafe where they were serving mince pies and sherry!  The back to the Observatory for hot choc before retiring for the night.  The seas were very rough, but the movement fo the ship was nowhere near as bad as Braemar in October.

Thursday, 23rd December 2010, At Sea

At 9am this morning the Captain announced we were in the middle of the Bay of Biscay.  Rough seas and gale force winds (force 7) but honestly, you'd never know it.  We seem to be gliding along, there's a bit of sway but nothing compared to our last cruise.

I went to the craft class again in the afternoon, and made another tree decoration - a purple egg shape covered in lurid clashing purple and gold sequins, with an orange ribbon to round off the effect!

It was Western Night tonight, so I wore the 'arrow through the head' as my token effort at cowboy dress.

The meal had a cowboy theme - I went for the KFC style chicken, but yes Julie the two fried eggs was there for the veggie option!

Wednesday, 22nd December 2010, Still At Sea

This afternoon's activities presented Janet with a dilemma- whether to attend the Nintendo Wii session in the Lido Lounge, or to go to the craft class and make a beaded star decoration for the Christmas tree.  The craft class won today, though I've now seen some of the future projects, and many of them are primary school stuff, so I may have a re-think on the choice in future days!

Tonight being the first formal night we had to scrub up early for the Captain's Welcome Aboard party (free drinks) and at dinner, Stein, the Cruise Director, hosted the table and the wine flowed freely again.
So by the time we came out of dinner (before 8pm!) we were ready for a rest.  So, back to the cabin, and watched an episode of Frost on dvd, and after that ventured back out to the Observatory Bar for a late (10pm!) drink.

The ship is decorated for Christmas, but in a fairly low-key way.  There are Christmas trees all over the place, and a small gingerbread village display near reception.

Wednesday, 22nd December - At Sea

Captain's announcement at noon told us we were sailing in the Irish Sea somewhere off Bristol.  The sun is occasionally peeping out from behind the clouds, sea is fairly calm at the moment, though forecast to get rougher as we cross the BoB, starting 9pm tonight.  But...  hurrah... the temperature is already above zero!

xx
Janet

Tuesday, onboard

Well, a very relaxed start to the holiday, leaving home at 1pm by taxi, rather than the usual "silly o'clok" start when travelling by coach to the south coast.  We'd been warned that the Langton Cruise Terminal at Liverpool was very basic, and indeed it was, but our bags were whisked away by a porter as soon as we pulled in, and all the staff were very welcoming and friendly.  We entered the 'shed' and wandered past a few rows of seats, and were greeted by Fred Olsen crew wearing santa hats, who thrust glasses of mulled wine into our hands!  Straight to the check in desks, no queuing, and in our cabin within 10 minutes of arriving at the terminal.  Who cares how basic the facilities are if you can get to the port and onboard so quickly?

Our cabin - Superior Suite 9008 on Marquee Deck - is very nice in a faded traditional sort of way.  It's an old ship, so some of the woodwork in the cabin is a little chipped, but the soft furnishings have obviously been updated fairly recently, so it will be a comfortable base for the next two weeks.

Once our bags had arrived, I unpacked while Dave started to make the cabin more festive.  We have a 3 foot Christmas tree, which now has lights, baubles and bows, and some chocolate santas in case we get peckish.  We've also brought with us a large fabric wall-hanging in the shape of a snowman, which we intend to hang on the cabin door.

We're on first sitting dinner, at a table for eight, and had a pleasant first evening.  We've still not decided whether to ask to change to second sitting, but our waiter told us that on formal nights, our table will be hosted by the Cruise Director, so we'll definitely stay where we are tomorrow night (first formal) as he will be buying the drinks!

Internet VERY flaky and VERY expensive, so don't expect perfect spelling/punctuation or frequent posts!

Janet
x

Tuesday 21st December - Ready to go

The UK is snow-bound, transport systems are is chaos, and we're fervently hoping that our journey to Liverpool at lunchtime won't be affected.  Whitesides Taxis are due to collect us at 1:00pm, for what would normally be less than an hour and a half's journey.  The ship sails late afternoon, so in theory we have plenty of time!

I'm feeling strangely unexcited about the cruise.  Mainly, I think, because we've missed the pre-cruise build-up with our usual cruising buddies Julie Dave and Harold.  Still, once we get onboard, and get the Christmas tree up in our little home for the next fortnight, I'm sure the festive spirit will kick in.

Keep warm and safe everyone!
Janet